Tuhan Chairil, Tuhan Penyair

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Melalui penelusuran 4000 tahun sejarah Tuhan yang panjang itu, Karen Amstrong mencapai satu kesimpulan yang cukup mengejutkan: Tuhan yang dihayati akhirnya menggantikan Tuhan yang diciptakan dalam kepercayaan (al-ilah al-makhluk fi al-i’tiqad—meminjam istilah Ibn Arabi). Dengan demikian, berarti Tuhan sungguh sangat personal. Personal di sini memiliki dua makna: (1) personal karena ikut andil dalam gerak sejarah; (2) personal karena sebanyak jumlah orang di dunia ini, sebanyak itulah jalan menuju Tuhan. Tetapi sayangnya, Karen tidak mengeksplor lebih dalam apa dan bagaimana Tuhan para penyair. Barangkali karena ia menganggap bahwa itu sudah terwakili oleh Tuhan kaum mistikus. Jelas, tidak setiap penyair cum mistikus, meskipun kebanyakan mistikus sekaligus merangkap penyair. Andai kata buku A History of God ditambah satu bab lagi, yakni Tuhan kaum penyair, maka buku itu akan benar-benar lengkap memotret sejarah Tuhan. Tetapi saya patut bersyukur, justru karena di dalam buku itu tidak ada pembahasan yang saya maksud, tulisan ini menjadi mungkin untuk dilahirkan.

Ketika membaca puisi-puisi Arab—klasik maupun kontemporer, saya menemukan ada yang unik dalam cara beragama. Periode wahyu, yang membawa konsekuensi ‘membahayakan’ bagi permenungan puitik, tidak lantas sepenuhnya menghancurkan puisi. Penyair yang tidak terbawa oleh arus utama keagamaan, masih memiliki personalitas yang tinggi dalam bertuhan. Mereka enggan mengandalkan meta-narasi-ketuhanan yang disediakan oleh agama, yang, oleh satu dan dua hal, menjadi seolah-olah kaku dan terlalu rigid. Dalam pada itu, kontemplasi atas puisi-puisi Arab, saya kira akan lebih menarik jika diberi ruang yang khusus di luar tulisan singkat ini (saya sudah merancang ide mengenai “Beragama dengan Puisi”—dah anggaplah tulisan ini sebagai pengantar ke arah sana). Maka, saya akan mengahadirkan perspektif alternatif berkenaan dengan cara bertuhan itu dari penyair kebanggan kita, Chairil Anwar.

Diakui atau tidak, Chairil Anwar, dengan poto memegang rokok yang ia isap, wajah yang melankolis, sorot mata yang tajam, dan rambut yang klimis, adalah persona pembendaharaan awal penyair-penyair Indonesa yang lahir setelah ketokohan Chairil. Maka muncullah persepsi yang kadang kurang tepat: penyair harus urakan. Anehnya, persona kepenyairan seperti ini agaknya hanya ada di Indonesia. Di negeri lain, penyair malah tampil sangat rapi dan necis. Di dunia Arab, contoh umum yang bisa kita verifikasi ialah misalnya Mahmoud Darwish, yang ketika membacakan puisi-puisinya di suatu acara, selalu memakai jas dan dasi yang lebih rapi dari sales-sales panci masak. Chairil tidak bisa disalahkan dalam hal ini. Penampilannya, menurut saya, bukan efek langsung dari kepenyairannya, tapi justru hal itu lahir dari gairah dan semangat masa mudanya dengan tantangan hidup yang tidak mudah.

Lazim diketahui bahwa Chairil adalah penyair zaman peralihan. Ia tumbuh di zaman Jepang dan dikuburkan di zaman kemerdekaan. Seperti puisi-puisi perjuangannya yang menggelora (tengoklah misalnya puisi terkenalnya berjudul “Aku”), puisi ketuhanan Chairil Anwar juga mengusung semangat yang sama. Masa muda dan gairah pemberontakan penyair ini masih sangat dominan. Bahkan ia dan dua temannya, Rivai Apin dan Asrul Sani, melahirkan gerakan yang belakangan dinamai “Angkatan 45”, suatu angkatan yang menolak tradisi pujangga baru yang kurang luwes. Pada tahun 1943, Chairil menulis puisi berjudul “Di Mesjid” dengan napas kerbau persis seperti pada puisi perjuangannya:

Kuseru saja Dia

Sehingga datang juga

 

Kami pun bermuka-muka.

 

Seterusnya Ia bernyala-nyala dalam dada.

Segala daya memadamkannya.

 

Bersimpuh peluh diri yang tak bisa diperkuda

 

Ini ruang

Gelanggang kami berperang

 

Binasa-membinasa

Satu menista lain gila.

Penyair ini menempuh jalan lain menuju Tuhan. Di Masjid, tempat seharusnya ritus konvensional ditunaikan, ia menyeru Tuhan yang ia panggil “Dia” dengan D besar, sebagai simbol inferior keagungan Dzat yang ia seru, dengan sangat akrab. Di sini, Tuhan Chairil serasa dekat, sehingga ketika ia menyerunya, Dia datang dan akhirnya mereka “bermuka-muka”. Tentu ini adalah makna konotatif. Chairil tidak benar-benar ketemu Tuhan. Tetapi Tuhan memang dekat, seperti gambaran kitab suci al-Quran (Al-Baqarah: 186), dan hasilnya Dia terus menyala-nyala dalam dada. Sampai-sampai tak ada kekuatan apapun yang mampu memadamkan nyala itu. Perlu dicatat, Chairil tidak menggunakan bahasa agama dalam ritusnya, ia hanya “menyeru”, yang dalam maknanya yang paling asali, adalah gairah kebertuhanan hamba yang belum diresmikan dalam suatu ritus khusus misalnya liturgi, atau shalat, atau sembahyang. Ini menunjukkan bahwa Tuhan Chairil adalah Tuhan yang sangat personal, Tuhan yang bisa ditemukan semua orang melalui jalannya sendiri-sendiri.

Ada sebentuk ketidak-sopanan yang disengaja dalam puisi di atas. Kata Kuseru saja Dia lebih mengarah pada intonasi menggugat, seolah-olah si penyair sudah sangat lama mencari atau menanti Tuhan sehingga ketika ia datang waktu untuk menyerunya, ada rasa rindu dan jengkel yang bertaut-erat dan bercampur-aduk. Namun, mungkin juga ada hal lain yang mendorong si penyair menyeru Tuhan dengan gugatan yang demikian. Ia telah lelah melihat perang terus terjadi, dan kita tahu pada tahun 1943 Jepang sudah masuk ke Indonesia dan melakukan kekejian yang setimpal atau bahkan lebih dari derita 300 tahun dijajah Belanda. Dan Tuhan, pelabuhan semua rintih, tujuan setiap simpuh, akhirnya hadir secara intim untuk memberi kekuatan bagi yang mau mempercayainya.

Tuhan Chairil tidak sama dengan Tuhan dalam gambaran para filsuf yang terkesan jauh, angkuh, dan acuh. Tuhan filsuf bukanlah Tuhan yang kita bisa berdoa, meratap, dan mengadu kepadanya. Bahkan mungkin, seperti gambaran Aristoteles, Tuhan itu tidak tahu bahwa Dia adalah penyebab adanya alam ini, apalagi sampai peduli terhadap hal-hal yang partikular. Tuhan Chairil lebih dekat pada Tuhan kaum mistikus, tetapi dengan perbedaan di sana-sini. Chairil tidak mengusung teologi apapun dalam puisinya; tidak membawa satu teori metafisika yang canggih nan rumit. Tuhan Chairil sesederhana Tuhan yang hadir ketika hamba menyerunya; yang peduli ketika hamba berkeluh-kesah; yang turut andil secara aktif dalam kehidupan maha-personal tiap individu. Hal ini lebih-lebih tergambarkan dari puisi Chairil yang ia tulis beberapa bulan setelah puisi “Di Mesjid”. Puisi itu berjudul “Doa”:

Tuhanku

Dalam termangu

Aku masih menyebut namaMu

 

Biar susah sungguh

mengingat Kau penuh seluruh

 

cayaMu panas suci

tinggal kerdip lilin di kelam sunyi

 

Tuhanku

 

aku hilang bentuk

remuk

 

Tuhanku

 

aku mengembara di negeri asing

 

Tuhanku

di pintuMu aku mengetuk

aku tidak bisa berpaling

Terdapat ketukan yang luar biasa damai dalam puisi ini, yang sekaligus menandakan kedalaman spiritualitas seorang Chairil. Hanya berselang kira-kira enam bulan setelah puisi gugatannya di atas, kini Chairil benar-benar dalam suasana yang surgawi. Napas puisinya ini bukan napas kerbau, tetapi napas seorang bayi ketika tidur di pangkuan ibunya: lembut, lancar, dan tenang. Intonasi yang lahir dari puisi ini adalah nada kepasrahan. Tuhanku/ Dalam termangu/ Aku masih menyebut namaMu, adalah bait pembuka yang seolah-olah membawa kita ke dimensi lain, sebuah dimensi yang tidak kita kenali tapi kita betah bermukim di sana. Nada kepasrahan itu diperkuat oleh kata “Tuhanku” yang dulang-ulang sampai empat kali, menunjukkan si penyair begitu menikmati kepasrahannya.

Puisi Chairil ini sekaligus mengusung double movement (dua gerakan). Pertama, sipritualitas setiap orang berkembang, tergantung pola dan situasi yang melingkupi dirinya. Pada puisi “Di Mesjid”, Chairil menempatkan Tuhan sebagai Dia yang “harus” ada ketika ia menyerunya; suatu bentuk spiritualitas yang masih kasar dan alot. Tetapi di puisi “Doa”, Chairil menyadari bahwa Tuhan adalah maha di atas maha. Tuhan adalah “yang-lain” sekaligus “yang-hadir”; paradoks yang sering kita temui dalam tradisi kesufian. Tuhan sebagai “yang-lain” adalah cayaMu panas suci, Tuhan sebagai “yang-hadir” adalah mengingat Kau penuh seluruh. Dan Tuhan yang diletakkan dengan cara seperti ini, bisa menjaga ketegangan antara Tuhan filsuf yang jauh dan sama sekali lain dengan Tuhan kaum pagan yang diejawantahkan dalam bentuk pemberhalaan.

Kedua, pemahaman ketuhanan tiap orang berbeda satu sama lain. Usaha untuk menyeragamkannya melalui teologi, hanya akan mereduksi spiritualitas dan akibatnya Tuhan menjadi sangat mekanikal. Kisah tentang seorang penggembala yang disalahkan oleh nabi Musa ketika mendekati Tuhan dengan cara yang aneh bisa menjadi contoh. Tuhan menegur nabi Musa atas tegurannya kepada penggembala itu. Seolah Tuhan ingin mengatakan, “biarlah hambaku memahami aku dengan caranya sendiri”. Bahkan, hadis masyhur tentang seorang badui yang bertanya kepada Nabi di mana Tuhan berada kemudian Nabi menunjuk langit, menunjukkan bahwa iman seseorang kepada Tuhan tidak bisa dipaksakan dengan upaya puritan seperti dalam teologi yang menyapu bersih antopomorphisme. Tuhan yang dipahami Chairil dengan caranya sendiri adalah Tuhan yang subjektif. Bait cayaMu panas suci/ tinggal kerdip lilin di kelam sunyi sepenuhnya bermakna pribadi. Bukan esensi Tuhan yang benar-benar meredup seperti lilin, tapi si penyair yang justru merasakan dirinya ditinggalkan cahaya Tuhan: hilang bentuk/ remuk.

Chairil menemukan Tuhan bersama gugatan sekaligus kepasrahan; nada positif sekaligus negatif; kekuatan sekaligus kelemahan; optimistis sekaligus fatalistis; personal sekaligus impersonal. Tuhan Chairil adalah Tuhan penyair yang paradoks, ambigu, dan kontradiktif. Penyair adalah ia yang selalu gusar dengan kemapanan. Maka, ia selalu berusaha menciptakan jalan lain, meskipun medan yang ditempuh penuh duri, kerikil, dan bahkan ranjau. Karena ternyata, terma minor dalam bertuhan juga mendapat legalitas dari doa nabi yang cukup terkenal: “Tuhan, tambahkanlah untukku kebingungan kepada-Mu” (allahumma zidni fika tahayyuran). Chairil sendiri rela untuk mengembara di negeri asing demi menghayati Tuhannya.

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